Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This baby is an asshole
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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