I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
