Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
