the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
