u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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