i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
