it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
