Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
