i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
