Please, let me fuck your mom
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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