i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
