laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
