Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
You've changed since you got that strap on
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
