Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
