Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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