so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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