If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
