kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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