We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
