I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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