It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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