I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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