you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
