Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
