dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
