bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I have already put on my inside pants.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
