That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
