yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
