$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
