This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
