Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
