we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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