Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
