Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
