We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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