On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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