Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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