..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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