I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
