"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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