He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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