Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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