Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
me + whiskey = a bad person
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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