Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
