Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
