Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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