is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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