sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
please don't ironically join a cult
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