That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
