As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
