I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
she smelled like a LAN party
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
